• Keli Hay

Stop Being a People Pleaser

As weight loss consultants, we hear many excuses around eating decisions. Most common is the blame of others. Typically, clients blame people they live with, including their children and spouses. More recently, we are hearing clients blaming visiting family and family situations. For example, parents visiting from out of town and birthdays.


A Danish Christmas Eve

When these situations come up, similar to other excuses, we ask our clients several why questions.

  • Why did you…?

  • Why didn’t you…?

When it comes to gifted food, clients indicate if they don’t accept - by way of eating - the food, they are being rude.

Who Is Your Priority?

If you are obese and seriously want to get healthier, the answer should be You. If want to get healthier, but are more concerned about what others think, then You are not the priority. Life isn’t easy. Decisions are never easy. Making yourself and - more importantly - your health shouldn’t be difficult, but for many people it is.

Change Your Focus

We know you weren’t born heavy. We know you didn’t wake up unhealthy or obese. The reasons for how you came to be vary from upbringing to mindset. How you continue to live is ultimately mindset. You can continue to live as you are or make changes. To make changes, you need to decide to make yourself your top priority. Making yourself your priority does NOT mean that you…

  • have to be rude

  • cannot be social

  • have to say no to everything

Making yourself your priority means that you MUST…

  • make smart decisions around your health

  • enjoy life

  • think about the impact of food choices

  • plan your food and drink choices

  • politely decline when it negatively affects you


Don’t Be Overwhelmed

Do not let your decisions overwhelm you. What is important is that you are focused on you. If someone puts you into a situation that can impact you negatively with food - similar to personal safety - make the choice that is safest for you. What does that mean? If deciding to “be polite” means that you will eat an entire meal of unhealthy food and then feel physically or mentally ill, don’t do it. If eating a smaller portion or tasting something might derail you from your healthier self for days or weeks, don’t do it. If you can mentally handle one off meal or food choice, then enjoy it!

We know this isn’t easy. We really do. Your mindset directly affects your health. We have had many conversations with clients around the difficulty of making favorable food choices around others. There isn’t one solution for everyone. There isn’t one approach for every situation. You need to know you. You need to know how best to handle each situation that supports you as the priority and lets you end the situation in a manner that you can live with after.

Think of Your Influence on Others

This goes to the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles...any influential adult in the life of a child. Not only do your food choices impact your health, they impact the lives of the children you live with or take care of. If you continually choose the convenience of take out food over a home cooked meal for your children, you are setting an example. If you go on and off dieting fads or trends and let your health fluctuate, children see this. While doing these diets, if you change, but continue to feed children "whatever they want" because "what are you going to do?", you are setting an example. How you live and what you eat - especially as a parent - directly impacts your children. Not sure if this is true? Are you overweight? Are your children overweight?

Truth Might Hurt and Isn't Easy

We'd be lying if we weren't going for a little bit of a shock here. Yes, we called out parents. Why? "Childhood obesity is a serious problem in the United States putting children and adolescents at risk for poor health. Obesity prevalence among children and adolescents is still too high." As an aging population, adults are setting a dangerous trend that needs to change soon because adult obesity rates now exceed 35% in nine states, 30% in 31 states and 25% in 48 states.

Own You

While you cannot truly change others, you can change and control you. Through smart decisions now, you can help yourself. Through smart and healthy choices now, you can influence your children and grandchildren. Through healthy choices now, you can live to spend more quality time with your children and grandchildren. If you need help living a healthier life, we are here to help!


Article by: Keli Hay

Certified personal trainer, weight loss consultant, and author

Email: alloverstrong@gmail.com

Phone: 512-710-7773


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